war is over (if you want it) - -

Last day before break!

I'm eating some of my Jagtime teacher's weird German cookies...everyone's saying they taste like shit and throwing them out, but I don't mind them. I think they're pretty good? They have bits of dry fruit in them. I made Mrs. Gmelin a card saying I feel she isn't appreciated enough. She lets us use the computers and printer and lets us talk and sleep, but most of the students just take advantage of this by looking at like, porn or playing online games. What makes me unable to stand this is that they give her no respect whatsoever. No one pushes in their chairs, some of the students have yelled at her, and while the library charges 10 cents to print a page, she only charges 5, and there are still a lot of kids who owe her debt because they just print their things and don't pay, saying they will the next day.
But they don't.
I think it's sad. If I was a teacher, I'd hate to be stuck with some of these kids.

So anyway!
I think something's wrong with me lately.
First of all, I'm going through one of my hate people phases. Where I can't stand humans. And dealing with them. I feel like they should all just vanish. Including me. Sasmit says that world peace would never be accomplished, but it could if all us humans didn't exist.
Anyway, my point is- I tell you about this phase (which I have a lot, every so often) only so I can ask of you, please, if you notice me being a bit of a jerk or stand-offish, just understand why.
Secondly, things have been a bit off.
Yesterday, I was baking, and I spilled like every ingredient at least once. I would fill the measuring cup with flour and somehow, when I pulled it out of the flour container, I got flour all over the floor and counter and everything. I was squeezing paint out of a tube yesterday and it splattered all over my pants. While I was washing the dishes, I ended up knocking over the paper towel roll into the sink while the water was running, and ruining the whole roll.
And then this morning.
Last night, I stayed up until like, 1:30 AM, so I knew I'd have trouble waking up this morning. Therefore, I set three alarms for myself. One from IKEA, which you have to press a switch on the back of to turn off. One that was previously my mother's, which you have to press a switch on the top to turn off. And my phone, which I have to press the corner button to turn off.
All three alarms rang. I turned them all off.
But I don't remember doing so.
I feel as if I went to sleep and woke up this morning to find it was 7:26. But I know my alarms rang. I know I set them, and they're not broken, and my mom even said she heard them herself until I turned them off. She heard them. She's in a completely different room. Why didn't I hear them? Why didn't I wake up? I don't remember the alarms ever ringing at all. But this happens sometimes, and is usually the reason I'm late. I'm considering my ability to sleepwalk, or something.


Things are okay.
Everything's okay.
It's been okay for months.
I'm so bored.









--edit--

Well, right after Jagtime today, right after I wrote the post up above-I got pretty pissed off. In Algebra, I had my box of chocolate chip cookies which I had stayed up baking the night before with me, and I placed it on my desk. There were about five or six left inside. For the last hour of class, Mrs. Johnson gave us boardgames and let us do as we wished. So, I walked over to the other side of the room to play "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?" with Stephanie, Victoria, Nam, Iqra and Tony. At the end of class, I walk back to my seat to find my box filled with pink tissue paper. I examine it further to find there is not a single cookie left but half of one at the bottom, already bitten out of.
What the fuck?
Who the hell takes, no, steals someone else's food?
Especially without asking?!
Like, just snatches it when they're not looking.
When they don't even know the person.
Really, humanity never ceases to surprise me. I didn't think that anyone who attended our school could simply just eat all of them. It really, REALLY just doesn't make sense to me. Help explain?
If they were hungry, they could've bothered to ask- I would've given them one. And I know you know that I would've. That's who I am. I don't say no.
I am thoughtful and make things for other people and offer them some and never say no.
Times like this make karma harder for me to believe, but I'd never stop. Karma just seems like it'd make so much sense. Why wouldn't life be based on karma? It's only fair.
Oh wait, I forgot. Life isn't fair.
Can you imagine? Would the thought of taking someone you don't even know's FOOD while they weren't there ever even cross your mind?!
Whoever took them wasn't anyone I know, because everyone in my class is juniors aside from Stephanie and Ingrid and Neal. Ingrid couldn't possibly have stolen them, because she's Ingrid and I don't believe she'd do such a thing, obviously. And I was with Stephanie, and Neal was sleeping like right in front of me. Thus, it was a junior.
I asked the people who sit beside me- James, Tiffany and Brad- if they'd taken them or seen anyone come by and take them, but they said no...but they were right next to the box the whole time. -_-
And I know that it sounds like I'm just making a big deal out of it. But that's my money and time and love in those cookies. And I often make big deals out of smalls things, because my belief is the majority of things that can seem trivial are often filled with so much inner-significance and insight, but no one sees it but me...