smiles returning to the faces.

I feel that ice is slowly melting.
Little darling,
It feels like years since it's been clear.
Here comes the sun,
and I say it's alright.




So Calvin and I are in this stupid argument
over like, nothing, pretty much.
Because a lot of people, apparently have been saying that Calvin's too clingy and obnoxious in the way he acts towards me; holding my hand and hugging me and putting his arms around me, going on "dates", or saying "I love you" or "I miss you" and I know I listened to them because I'm just so damn fickle and everyone can so easily sway me to believe what they want me to believe because I am so weak and sometimes I feel like I don't even lead my own life.
Calvin, I'd be lost without you.
So I told him he ought to be less clingy, because honestly, I don't want people to get the wrong idea. And also, I know it annoys a few people.
And he said, "But bffs?!"
And I was like, "Yeah, best FRIENDS forever, and friends don't do that kind of stuff."
Because people always accuse us of secretly going out, or at least liking each other and not admitting it. Earvin says he knows Calvin likes me. Tom yesterday said, "Hey Vy-Anh, Calvin likes you, and you like Calvin. So why don't you two go out?" Jonah asked Calvin if we were going out once.
We don't like each other.
& 8th grade has long since passed.
And so he's like, "You're taking it too seriously."
And then I was like "No, I'm not," and raised up all these fine points that ____ made.
So he goes, "Fine, then we'll just be Fs" [friends, if you couldn't figure it out..]
And then the next day, I ask if he's still coming over, because he planned to before we started arguing. Eventually he does, and I said sorry and I genuinely meant it, even if it didn't seem like so.
But later, at Outback Steakhouse [where we went out for dinner], we were waiting outside and playing with glowsticks and he connected his to mine and said "Yay, Fs!" and I said, "No, BFFs?" and he said "No," so I was like, "Fine."
And later when he asked me to sit next to him during the play I was like "No, I'm frustrated with you."
We didn't say bye, I didn't even see him at all after the play was over.
And to tell you the truth, I'm being really lazy. At certain points I get so fed up that I don't even bother trying to fix it. It's sort of like, whatever. It's bad, but true. I always do this, when my friends and I are having problems I just ignore it until things work out, fix themselves. I leave my problems alone because I can't bear dealing with them. It's heart wrenching, and like I said, I'm too weak.
I kept saying to myself, I'm not even going to try.
Though it IS a stupid argument. Because he's right, I am taking the clingyness too seriously. But he's taking what I said too seriously too, because I was only being biased and my mind was out of control at the moment I said that, because I can say things that I don't mean. And by being less clingy, it doesn't mean I don't want to be bffs. How could we be anything but bffs?
Calvin, I'd be lost without you.
And then there was no need for him to say we weren't bffs, and no reason for me to reject sitting next to him.
I'm so stupid.
This is so stupid!
CALVIN I LOVE YOU.
as a friend.
And I need you, and you should know that >:|

Look, it's a whole post just about you.
I'm so sorry.



CLT: I'd like to name my bakery "Orgasmic", but I think that's a bit too controversial. ^^