suddenly, my life doesn't seem such a waste.

And there's no mountain to high,
no river too wide.
Sing out this song,
and I'll be there by your side.
Storm clouds may gather & stars may collide.



Drinking green tea ginger ale. Tasty.

Today I was healthy :)
I had my first meal before 3 PM so far this school year, and also finally took a nice nap. Because lately the most sleep I've gotten a night [excluding weekends] has been five hours, which isn't even the average amount a person needs to get per night. I've stayed up all night other days, or gotten only three or four because I've woken up early to finish the homework I can't keep from procrastinating on.
Sam brought me a waffle in the morning, and a peanut butter & banana sandwich for lunch :) Thank you, Sam. That was honestly very nice.
So my birthday's next week, and people have been asking me what I want, but I don't know. And I don't care. Don't get me anything? I'm trying to be less selfish, because I'm too selfish. Cristian told me to bake brownies. I said, "for MY OWN birthday?" and he said yes. So I guess I will.
My current favorite movies are probably Rent and Tokyo Godfathers, even though I've only seen either once.
Oh yes, and if I haven't told you myself, my mom gave Chase away :\ She said she was tired of his shedding and smelling and a few times doing his business in the house~
Fortunately, the family who took him in live near, so I can visit whenever. I really miss him. I was crying all day, that day. Like serious hours of bawling and hyperventilating. And each time he comes to mind I have to breathe in deeply and heavily a few times again.
Today in AP World History, we had a Socratic Seminar, and God- I hate them. So much. Today was actually the first day I said anything in one. We had them all last year in English, but I never got any credit cause I never said anything. But this year, I'm trying to get good grades, so I have to. Calvin and Sasmit and others kept encouraging me to speak, and I told Calvin I was trying, but he was all IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE IT.
But I was. I was trying to gain the courage to speak. It sounds lame and melodramatic, I know, but it couldn't be more true. Each time I thought of something I could say, right before I attempted to raise my hand, my heart would start beating really fast, and I could hear it pounding, feel it beating in my chest. And then I'd get really tense and blink rapidly or breathe deeply, trying to relax. It really isn't a big deal, participation. I think I have a serious problem/fear, and I asked my mom if maybe I could get a doctor to help me with it? She told me it's all in my head, so I'm trying to convince myself so too, because if it is, it could be easier to get over. I guess in truth, all fears are just in the person's head, hm? I'm so afraid. I'm tired of it.
We have 45 min. in class writing next class, and people starting moaning and groaning in complaint, but in all honesty, I'd rather write a ten page essay than have had to participate twice in that Socratic Seminar. Luckily, I did get to say something. Though it wasn't much. It wasn't really much of a statement, but it's half credit, right? Eh...
Jason stole Ice Bat yesterday, and I thought he'd give him back, but this morning he said Reggie has him. When I asked Reggie where he was, Reggie said Jason still had him, and that Jason and Vincent ripped his wing/arm off. I then went over and hit Jason on the shoulder [There goes pacifist Vy-Anh? Well, it's not like it was painful.] and he said that Reggie really did take him, that he was fine, but Puck was in pieces. Reggie made this appalled face, and Jason was all, "That's what you get for making me get slapped!" and I said, "Yeah, and that's what you get for lying!" But then Reggie told me once again that Ice Bat really had been torn apart. :\
I don't know what to believe, but if he is injured, how could they..? ;_; And what about Puck, too?! Grr.

So, life's okay. Dull. Tiring. Bearable. The usual?

Calvin: She [Tiff] wrote a "something you didn't know"! I'm starting a trend!
Me: Do you want me to write one?
Calvin: YES! EVERYONE SHOULD WRITE ONE! I'll start too!

So, Tiff's was about Vinh and others calling her "hot", and well, I get called "hot" a lot, but me, I really don't like being called so. Beautiful's a much more meaningful word, considering that it actually means what's intended. xD
& I've only ever been called "beautiful" by three people. Who are Calvin, Michael and Earvin. =]



I'll Cover You - Rent Soundtrack
^ more musical songs stuck in my head! I loooooove this one.