start living life before we die.

Go roll down that window.
Go crank up that radio.
Let's drive until we hit the sky.
It's not about where we will go...



My heart aches so much right now.
There are a thousand things I'd like to say but how do I get them out all at once?
Let's start with square one.
Last night I was telling myself I didn't care if you never spoke to me again. I didn't regret what I'd done. And this morning I woke up and felt like it had all been a dream. The entirety of yesterday never happened and when I checked in my diary, there would've been no entry on this, and when I checked your blog, those posts wouldn't have been there.
But it's all still here.
I don't really know what I think now- I guess I really must still have some fragment of a heart left inside of me, because I still can't bring myself to say what I want to say out loud. Is it because I'm afraid to hurt you? I think so...
Even after Tiff told me that we all should've let you know what was going on...we should've talked about the situation, before it came to this; this abrupt stop. This sudden change that might not have the ability to be undone.
It's interesting how things can change in an instant, because the instant I decided to stay in Tom's car, I think a lot of things just switched on and off right there. Turned around.
Calvin's right, Jansen, you really need to take this in from everyone's point of view.
Not just yours.
You have no idea.

...I suppose I'll go on with the things I need to let out later........


[PS: Vincent, you were right. Blogging really is just a pathetic method of telling people what you want to tell them because you're too much of a wimp to say it out loud. I don't have the ability to let myself do that yet. I'm not sure I ever will.]