born to gaze into night skies.

You don't know how long I've been
Watching the lantern dim,
Starved of oxygen.
So, give me your hand
And let's jump out the window.






Oh god. What will come out of this continuous procrastination of homework, Vy-Anh?

I thank Vickie & Jansen for this. I think it's an interesting idea. But unfortunately I discovered I can't tell you any names or anything if I'm going to tell you about my life for the past year. I'm sorry. You're just going to have to deal. Most of the things that happen to me are things involving other people; people I can't just reveal the lives of without their consent.
So the bolded words are changed names.

One year ago was around the time I started liking Green Scratch. He had a girlfriend. But he started liking me back too. Wrote me a poem, in letter form, which he slipped in my locker. Was the first time I'd had that happen. Many firsts within the last year. He and his girlfriend went on a break, and eventually broke up. I felt bad about it. Guilty.
School ended, my GPA miserably low. I was having issues with depression, having dreams about drugs. Went to my good friend Alice about it, asking about these drugs. She encouraged it, said they'd help me, as I thought they would.
First day of summer, told my mom I was sleeping over at Alice's house. First time sneaking out and staying out all night. Had my first taste of weed, but it didn't do much. Had three ecstasy pills, and this did do much. First taste of beer, Smirnoff Ice, still my favorite to this day. Snuck out to a pool, went to a park. Green Scratch and I hit it off in the dirt next to a creek in a forest. Second base, which, sadly, is the farthest I've gone, mind you. Felt ecstatic [obviously], happy, and all those other effects you read about which involve X. Went back to his house, kissed him goodbye. Felt even more depressed after the effects wore off. Insecure. Suicidal. Wanted to vomit, but had nothing to throw up- I hadn't eaten for the past 24 hours.
And so that was the night that changed my life. Everything completely transformed from then on.
That night was the first bonfire at Sam's. Expecting Green Scratch and I to somehow be together-ish? Still felt sick, didn't eat anything, and eventually fell asleep. Woke up to have Tyler tell me that Green Scratch had been cuddling with one of my best friends, Squack, all night. Great. Spent the rest of the day making pancakes, then sleeping.
Summer went on, as if nothing happened. Had way too much fun, went out EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. No exageration. Pentagon City. DC. Sleepovers. Power Outages. Monopoly @ McDonald's. Fairfax Fair. Rave2Save. Swimming. The Mall.
Liz and I sleptover at Sam's, and we snuck out to go swimming in the middle of the night at the LaFayette Village pool with Vincent, Anna, Daniel, Amy, Jason and Tom. And then IHOP at 3 AM. Fun :]
Everything was fun, really. I couldn't be happier. Not possibly.
And then all of a sudden, Rice Cooker [LOL for those who know who this is, I didn't know what else to call him] decided to throw a party. My first drinking party. And coincidentially, my mom was out of town that weekend, so I had my friends sleepover and we went out. It was fun. First taste of vodka, and first game of beer pong. More time spent with Green Scratch, and we went up to Rice Cooker's room, to be alone...until two of my friends decided it wasn't a good idea and made us get out. Later that night, Green Scratch was all over Squack again, just like at the bonfire.
Even though we talked about it, that was all that happened between us, but a lot has happened between them two since. He called us, and his ex, his "options," and this is probably what made me stop liking him. I thought it was a very jerk thing to say. Still do. He's been bouncing back and forth between his ex and Squack, and it's not my problem anymore. Sorry.
So that would be another first. My first summer fling?
I spent a week in Texas. Day in DC was fail. Atlantic City was absolutely amazing; what we still call probably the most fun we had all summer. Asian Festival too.
Rice Cooker held another party, and I learned never to play Vodka pong, because you'll end up with absolutely no control or remembrance of what happened. This is when I got caught, and grounded. From then on, I didn't do anything until school began, besides shop, alone, and attend our end of the year bonfire, which was not as much fun as the first, but still something. Maybe that was a sign of the death of our group to come.
No regrets. Regretting isn't worth it. The best summer of my life so far, and I don't plan on forgetting it.
School began, my GPA up again, A & B honor roll ever since. But social life started to go downhill. We've had two more parties since the start of the school year, one which I spent just chilling out and not having much, and the other which I spent sleeping. Homecoming dinner was one of the most fun nights I've had during 10th grade. Along with the musical nights, matching Thursdays, football games, Trung Thu, Cho Tet, GMU, spirit weeks, tailgate, DC again, days spent afterschool, the haunted house, the plays, more dinners, birthdays, christmas & new years parties, raves, sneaking out, board games, movies.
I joined the swim team and it got me fit and healthy, but I'm decreasing in that department ever since it ended. Tyler and Calvin moved, and Liz transferred. Next year all of my senior friends will be in colleges, Jason and I are moving, too.
Things are alright. Boring as ever. Nothing's been the same since sophomore year began, and I've forgotten why I bother getting up each morning, why my friends meant so much to me, how I used to be so happy and have so much fun. I hear the songs that remind me of those times and I begin to tear up. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. And I don't know if it's possible for you guys to miss it as much as I do. But I hope I'm not alone in this desire. This desire to make things the way they used to be. I miss the times we shared. I wrote about this on my Tumblr. How now, everyone is depressed, or whining, complaining, stubborn, reluctant, or just completely broken apart from our group. We used to just be happy with what we had, appreciated life, lived it to the fullest, found fun in everything we could, tried to make it last. My life has been dull ever since, so I don't want to bore you guys anymore.

-edited- I want to list the names of all the people that have been at the parties, just for fun. See if you can decipher who's who? It's funny to see what nicknames I can come up with. So far I've already got a lot of comments on "Rice Cooker" xD
Me, Rice Cooker, Alice, Griffin Boy, Squack, Green Scratch, Shang, Any, Mocha Frappuchino, Shtick, Black Dildos, Poop, M-O, Default and WRYYYY.
LOL I love my choices. Try to figure it out! :DDD

In three days, I don't ask for much. I've been going along just fine like this, because I know I'm moving next year, and I hope I can find that fun again. That excitement. Something new. I'm sorry for everything you guys, I know it's terrible to say I can't wait to leave you, but I can't lie. Maybe, if anything, I want us to come back together again, and have fun this Saturday? I miss us.

If you read this then write your own story, One year ago till today. then include what you want to do 3 days from today. and paste this at the end of your blog so everyone else can do it.